


The Way I Feel

by tillthestarsevaporate



Category: Arrow (TV 2012), Green Arrow and the Canaries (TV), Season of Love (2019)
Genre: Christmas, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, F/F, Movie Night, dinahsiren - Freeform, sirencanary - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-27
Updated: 2019-12-27
Packaged: 2021-02-25 21:00:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,977
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21991828
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tillthestarsevaporate/pseuds/tillthestarsevaporate
Summary: Laurel was getting ready to watch the newest Christmas movie alone, when Dinah showed up.PS. There are sort of spoilers for the movie, Season of Love. I say sort of because Christmas movies are quite predictable. So you decide if you want to watch it before reading this. I don’t think it would affect your enjoyment of this story, though.
Relationships: Dinah Drake/Earth-2 Laurel Lance
Comments: 4
Kudos: 84





	The Way I Feel

**Author's Note:**

> Not sure if I’m fully back yet, but here’s a little something. I don’t celebrate Christmas, but I couldn’t help but get sucked in.
> 
> Also, I’ve been trying to write more in the past tense rather than present, so please forgive any tense inconsistencies.
> 
> Hope you enjoy this dinahsiren Christmas story.

It was Christmas Eve, and like every other year, Laurel was content to spend the night alone. She was human; of course, she would love some company. The one person, though, whose company she wanted was at a Christmas party.

Laurel would not admit it. Out loud, she would say she was glad she was not invited to the party at Oliver’s place – too many people, noisy ones. Out loud, she would not admit that she was hurt nobody asked her to come. She thought they had become friends, after everything she had helped the team with. Apparently, she was mistaken, just like she was with many other things in her life. Just like she thought at least Dinah was different.

She thought, maybe, that they shared something special. She thought they understood one another more than anyone else had ever understood her, or even tried to.

Laurel caught herself thinking way too much. So much for pretending it did not bother her. A ding sounded, and Laurel abandoned the couch to check on the microwave. Left-over lasagne was going to be the primary constituent of her dinner. Not the best, but not the worst either. It was enough to satiate her hunger as she started watching the newest Christmas movie, _Season of Love_ , featuring one of her favourite tropes: Friends to Lovers. At least that’s what the reviews said. She also had her warm cup of milk ready at the coffee table.

Ten minutes in, though, a knock sounded on the door. Reluctantly, she paused the movie, put her plate aside, and got up to open the door. She didn’t know what she expected, but she certainly did not expect to see Dinah at her door. And her surprise showed on her face because Dinah smiled.

“Hi,” Laurel said, torn between wanting to move aside to let Dinah in and finding out why she was here before inviting her in. Letting Dinah in could be potentially catastrophic to her feelings, and to their friendship. After all, it was Christmas Eve, and her emotions were not completely in check. “Weren’t you supposed to be at Oliver’s party?”

“I was,” Dinah said. “Can I come in?”

Laurel moved aside and opened the door wider. Dinah entered the apartment, carrying a small grey messenger bag on one shoulder. Before Laurel could say anything, Dinah said, “Movie, huh?”

“Yes,” Laurel said, closing the door and heading back to the couch. Yet again, Laurel is torn. Should she ask Dinah why she was there? The better alternative was to just shut up, enjoy the company, and not ruin it with her constant doubt. She decided to wait a little longer.

“Which movie is this?” Dinah asked. Why was she so interested?

Not realising she was uttering the words, Laurel said, “Maybe you should stay and find out for yourself.”

_Stupid. Stupid, Laurel. Now she’s going to think you’re into her. Not to mention that the movie features only lesbian couples. What is Dinah going to think? She’ll probably refuse to stay anyway._

Dinah lifted both eyebrows. Laurel just ruined it, didn’t she?

“Maybe I will. If you don’t mind, that is.” Dinah sounded more serious than the situation warranted.

Laurel gave Dinah one of her smirks, the ones she knew annoyed her. “I don’t mind. Have a seat,” she told Dinah. “Can I get you anything? Water? Milk? I think the pot is still warm.”

“Milk, huh? I wouldn’t have guessed you are a milk person.”

“Milk person? That’s not even a thing. But yes, I love a warm cup of milk every night. It’s the only thing that can make me relax, you know, living alone and all,” Laurel said and wondered why she was talking too much. She wasn’t even sure that last part made any sense.

Dinah smiled. “Maybe I’ll have some milk, then.” Laurel promptly got up to pour the milk for her guest.

“Please sit, Dinah.” Laurel sighed. Dinah obeyed and sat right in front of Laurel’s unfinished lasagne, taking off her bag and resting it against the table.

They were both silent as Laurel brought the milk. When Laurel returned to the coffee table, Dinah was fumbling with the remote controller. Laurel put the mug on the table and sat next to her, making sure they were not touching. Although Dinah had other plans, moving closer so her knees touched Laurel’s, and Laurel felt her heart beating faster.

“Thank you,” Dinah said. She picked up her milk. “Shall we?” She pointed at the TV, and Laurel nodded. “Wait, you’re only ten minutes in?”

Laurel rolled her eyes and looked at Dinah. “Feel free to rewind, of course.”

Dinah did, giving Laurel a final glance — one Laurel couldn’t place — before pressing PLAY and turning back to the TV.

At first, Laurel was too anxious to concentrate on the movie. With Dinah next to her, it was hard to register anything that wasn’t her. Laurel kept glancing at Dinah, who seemed to be already lost in the movie. She gave Laurel a small smile every time she caught her looking, and Laurel’s face felt hot. She could only hope Dinah didn’t notice.

Laurel took a deep breath and tried to focus on the characters in the movie. Slowly, she found herself drawn in by one character in particular: Mardou. Her tough exterior, how she cared deeply but showed it in action rather than words.

As Laurel eased into the movie, she relaxed beside Dinah and started making comments about it, to Dinah’s annoyance, of course.

“Wow, the drama!” Laurel cried.

“I think that’s the point, Laurel.”

When Laurel didn’t respond, Dinah continued, “A Christmas movie with all lesbian relationships and all the cliché tropes that people love anyway. It’s a milestone.”

Dinah’s unexpected knowledge about the movie surprised Laurel. Could that mean Dinah is into girls? Why else would she be so passionate about that “milestone”?

“You’re right.”

“Excuse me. Did you just say I’m right?” Dinah beamed, looking at Laurel expectantly.

“Yeah, yeah. Enjoy it while it lasts,” came the retort.

“So while you think I’m right, I need to ask you to stop talking so I can actually watch the movie.”

The problem with watching quietly was that Laurel would start overthinking about Dinah and her voluntary presence so close to her. “Where’s the fun in that?”

Dinah said nothing, instead turning back to focus on the movie. Laurel watched Dinah and her perfect lips curling up into a smile every so often. If the movie was making Dinah smile, Laurel didn’t mind staying quiet. So she did.

When she paid attention, she noticed the oh-so-obvious love Mardou had for Iris, her brother’s ex-fiancée. Poor Mardou, and the oblivious Iris. And when Iris fell off the ladder and into Mardou’s arms, under the mistletoe, Laurel found herself holding her breath. She felt the heat from Dinah’s hand as it moved closer to hers, squeezing the couch’s thick cover. Laurel reluctantly released the air inside her lungs when Iris and Mardou didn’t kiss. She found herself imagining how Dinah would react if she found herself with Laurel in a similar situation. Would she turn and leave, claiming she didn’t believe in _that_? Or would she use the chance and kiss her?

Laurel glimpsed Dinah moving closer to her, but she wasn’t sure if she did it on purpose. The mere idea of Dinah’s closeness produced a light shiver in Laurel, pulling Dinah’s attention. “Are you cold?” She asked. “Here.” She moved closer to Laurel and put her arms around her shoulders. Laurel didn’t think she had a choice but to let Dinah do whatever it was she was doing that was the cause of her goosebumps, but she didn’t move closer. Dinah did instead, her hips in line with Laurel’s as she awkwardly wrapped an arm around Laurel’s shoulders. She stopped fiddling and turned back to the movie. For long minutes, however, Laurel couldn’t take her eyes off Dinah’s body so near.

They continued to watch mostly in silence, with only the occasional remark. Laurel was lost in the story, then, and she realised how much she was rooting for Mardou and Iris when towards the end of the movie, they finally got the chance to talk. Iris confessed her love for Mardou, and poor Mardou was so ecstatic she barely kept her breathing straight. When she kissed Iris’s hands, Laurel couldn’t breathe. And when she actually kissed her on the lips, Laurel released a satisfied sigh.

“Laurel, are you crying?”

Laurel hadn’t realised it, but yes, there were tears in her eyes and on her cheeks. She quickly moved to wipe them, but Dinah stopped her arm from reaching her face.

“Let me,” Dinah whispered. There was only a second’s hesitation before Laurel surrendered to Dinah’s request. Gently, oh-so-gently, Dinah wiped tears from under Laurel’s eyes. How could she be so unexpectedly tender?

“Thank you,” Laurel breathed. Surprisingly, Dinah didn’t prod further and seemed content to just nod and return to the movie. _Maybe she understood._

Ten minutes later, the movie ended with the countdown for the New Year, and the countdown for the awkward silence that followed. When the credits rolled, both women sat through them quietly, Laurel not moving in case she disturbed Dinah’s arm behind her back. She really wanted to reach out and take a sip of her now-cold milk.

It was too quiet for comfort. Laurel didn’t know what to say to break the silence, and Dinah didn’t seem to be volunteering. Laurel was still too engrossed in the story that she didn’t want to get up. It was that feeling when she wanted to go back and watch the movie all over again, or at least the scenes she loved. But Dinah was there so that wasn’t possible, unfortunately.

After five minutes that felt like five hours, Dinah sighed loudly and said, “Wow.”

“Yes,” Laurel said on impulse. You see, when Dinah Drake agreed with you, you had to voice it.

“That kiss at the end was...” Dinah turned her whole body so she was directly facing Laurel, who also adjusted her sitting position accordingly.

“Yes,” Laurel agreed. What she didn’t say was that she wondered what that felt like. When she has been friends with Dinah for some time, getting to know her and trust her. Gaining her trust. What would it feel like if Dinah realised how much Laurel cared about her? Would she return those thus-far unrequited feelings?

“The milk was a good idea.”

More importantly, what would her lips feel like against Laurel’s? Laurel held her breath at the thought.

“Are you okay?” Dinah asked quietly, her eyes circles of deep concern.

Laurel said, “Yeah. I was just thinking. About the movie.” A lie, kind of.

A nod was the response she got from Dinah.

“So why are you here, Dinah?”

“Do you want me to go?” Dinah started pushing herself off the couch, but Laurel caught her arms before she could leave.

“No. No, of course not.”

Dinah smiled and sat back down. In a low voice, she said, “I went to the party, and I found myself looking for you, not sure why. Then Rene told me you weren’t invited.”

Laurel turned slightly away from Dinah, remembering how stupidly she was upset earlier that night.

“I asked him why, he didn’t know,” Dinah continued. “Laurel, it felt really weird being there without you, like something was missing. I couldn’t stop thinking about it. I...” She paused for a moment. “I had to come and see you.” Dinah’s voice turned quieter with that last part, the quietest Laurel has ever heard her speak.

Speechless. How could there be anything to say to that?

“And then you were all cocky when I came in, and you were watching a movie, and I couldn’t believe my luck. It felt like a self-fulfilling prophecy of sorts. The perfect opportunity to spend time with you away from work.” With a shake of her head, Dinah added, “Sorry, the movie must have made me so emotional.”

“Dinah, please –”

“Laurel,” Dinah took Laurel’s hands in hers and stared at them. “Like Iris said, when I think about what makes me happy, it’s you. It’s you, Laurel. I know it like I know I need oxygen to survive. And I couldn’t imagine a better way to spend Christmas than with you.” She looked up and held Laurel’s gaze so firmly Laurel dared not look away. She wanted to cry happy tears, but first, she wanted to kiss Dinah. She didn’t care about the order in which she did those things, actually. She was all jumbled emotions, all a result of one person. She didn’t know what to say, so she said nothing. Instead, she pulled Dinah’s hands to her chest, and Dinah instinctively came closer for Laurel to put her forehead against hers and breathe raggedly. The nearness was intoxicating.

“Laurel,” Dinah breathed.

For all her life, Laurel had been looking for the right moments. The right time to go to bed, the right time to exercise, the right time to talk. The right time not to shut up.

The right time was here, she realised.

So when Dinah didn’t pull away, she closed the remaining distance. When her lips met Dinah’s, she wanted to cry again. In that one moment in time, everything was beautiful. Perfect. Dinah’s kisses were perfect, and soft, her hands gentle as they caressed Laurel’s neck, and she couldn’t get enough. Of course, she couldn’t get enough.

Lips were desperate for continued contact. Hands roamed, exploring. Lungs struggled to pull in air but were gladly sacrificing the air they needed because there was no sensation more fulfilling than this one. Laurel decided tongues should join the battle. She pushed against Dinah’s teeth, her tongue asking for entrance, begging for permission to let loose and dance with Dinah. Dance to the loud but elegant beat of their hearts, even faster. The gate shattered, and Laurel thought she would die from the feeling of Dinah’s tongue playing with her, teasing, and Laurel pushed closer and closer, wanting more, more. Much, much more.

How could she live after experiencing this high?

The rapid dance transformed into a waltz, slow, stunning, surreal. Laurel still felt the tingles all over her body when Dinah smiled against her lips before leisurely pulling away.

But Laurel kissed her again. And a third time, and a fourth. She just wanted to stay in this reverie, close to Dinah, together evading the world around them.

Dinah eventually managed to get a word in. “Laurel, Laurel, wait.”

Laurel did as told, but reluctantly. “I’m sorry. You don’t know how long I’ve been wanting to do that.” She didn’t even feel embarrassed about admitting that. She just wanted to keep kissing her.

“I think I have a pretty good idea, actually.” Apparently, Dinah read her mind, because she smiled and gave her another quick, lingering kiss. When their lips separated, Dinah took a deep breath.

“This is nice,” she said. “But I’m exhausted. I know people don’t sleep early on Christmas Eve, but I really need to get going.”

“Are you kidding? You’re not going anywhere any time soon.”

“Laurel, I can’t,” Dinah said, the reluctance evident in her voice. So Laurel did the unthinkable.

“You can sleep here,” she said. What if she had the chance to get back some semblance of normalcy for the holidays? Nothing about Dinah sleeping over was normal. But not spending the holidays alone? That was normal.

Dinah lifted her brows. “Laurel –”

“You can sleep here. Please?”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes. It’ll be good for both of us. We can sleep, and in the morning we can get breakfast and, you know, celebrate. It’s been a really long time since I celebrated like normal people.”

“All right,” Dinah said.

“Yes?” Laurel didn’t know what came over her. She felt happy, even if only temporarily. She hugged Dinah, then. “Thank you.”

Dinah laughed and squeezed her back.

“Come on, let’s get you something to change into.”

They broke their embrace and got up. Laurel showed Dinah where the washroom was while she brought her a pair of pyjama pants and one of her hoodies. It certainly felt strange that Dinah was about to wear her clothes.

When Dinah emerged from the washroom, Laurel gave her the change of clothes. “Hope they fit.”

“Thank you.” Dinah went back to the washroom to change. Laurel was in the bedroom bringing out an extra blanket from the closet when she heard, or rather felt, Dinah behind her. She came closer and hugged Laurel from the back. Laurel revelled in the contact. She turned her head to the side, and Dinah surprised her with a kiss on her cheek. Laurel felt warm all over and smiled.

Dinah let go, and they both headed towards the bed, Laurel on the right side, Dinah on the left. It felt like something they did every day, a routine, and Laurel allowed herself to hope. To wish for that one day.

Laurel dove under the blanket, giving Dinah the extra one she just brought. Dinah took it but left it folded and placed it at the foot of the bed.

“You’ll need it, Dinah. It’s cold.”

“I have a better idea,” Dinah said, moving closer to Laurel and pulling Laurel’s blanket over both of them. Laurel welcomed the warmth of the contact. She switched off the bedside lamp next to her, leaving only the small light coming in through the slightly ajar bedroom door. She turned to Dinah and smiled, then snuggled against her chest.

“Merry Christmas,” Dinah whispered, a smile in her voice.

“Merry Christmas,” Laurel said.

With the renewed hope of having a normal Christmas with someone she cared about, Laurel closed her eyes.

And dreamed happy dreams.


End file.
